Monday, January 21, 2013

1863 January 7 Farmington, Ohio

                              Farmington Jan 7th 1863

            My darling precious Charlie
                                                     Will you
forgive me for allowing one whole week
to pass by without writing to thee when
I know how much pleasure it affords you?
  Do not think darling, that I have been
voluntarily silent far from it  Every
day I have thought that another should
not find you neglected, but the next
would come followed by its usual
work, which must be performed and
go, finding me, to all appearances
as far from writing to you as the
day proceeding.  Today I have sat down
regardless of study etc determined that
I will neglect you no longer.
  I have not heard from you since you
wrote me of your sever illness, from
which you had not recovered, and

[page 2]
naturally enough dread apprehensions
fill my mind, apprehensions that I
dare not breathe.   I, in a manner
dispel them with the thought that if you
were worse you would get some one to
write me but I am fearful that you
are worse and dread to let me know of
it until you are better.  If so darling one
let me entreat of you, as I often have
done before, and as you value my happi-
ness, that you will inform me all about
your health.   I should so love to hear from
you daily, aye, even hourly if could  [be?]
but I know the latter is impossible, and
the former nearly so. Nevertheless I would
try and be content with hearing from you
once a week if I could not hear from you
  Forgive me dearest, if my letter has the
appearance of being dictated by a complaining
heart; let me assure you that it is only
my love for you, that causes my anxiety
I can not conceal it if I try ever so

[page 3]
hard and I have tried earnestly and, -
as I expected I should -  have failed.
 I can not longer conceal from thee dear,
the suffering I have been compelled to
endure, since learning of you illness
  Darling, let me urge you to speedily
come to me if possible, If I only was
permitted to fill the sacred office of
watching by you I should be happy,
but, even that is denied me, and I
must ---  (Addie what art thou writing,
has he not enough to suffer without
sharing thy grief? Hush you complaints)

  The weather is cold and gloomy not
a bright spot to be seen in the sky.
A few snow flakes are straggling down
as if fearful to tarry with us in
this world of sorrow but then we need
some gloomy weather, in order to fully
appreciate the the[sic] fair weather.  How
weary I do get looking and seeing what?
Nothing but leafless trees, ground covered

[page 4]
snow, and dark frowning clouds.
These all have a tendency to make me
"bluer" than I otherwise should be. But why
I should write so "bluish" to you is
more than I can tell.   I can not send
this out till tomorrow, - so I will "lay
it by" till morning.

Good evening dearest.  How art thou
this cold evening.  I trust your[sic] are not
suffering from the cold even if we at
the North do,  I think I never "saw
such sudden changes in the weather"
as we have this winter,  Yesterday morning
when I arose, it seemed more like a real
refreshing spring morning, than like a
morning in midwinter, Every thing
seemed so exhilarating, nothing seemed
deficient except the joyous notes of'
the little birds, but towards night the
wind moved into the N.W. and today
it has been very cold, so cold that
as they breathe little frosty particles collect

[remainder of letter from Adelaide Case to her fiancee Charles N. Tenney of the 7th Ohio,  missing]

MSS 11616

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