Sunday, November 4, 2012

1862 November 5 Fauquier County, Va.

[from the diary of Anne Madison Willis Ambler]

Have spent a sorrowful day--Wept till
my head ached & my heart feels like bursting--
-spent most of the morning in my room
writing to my dear husband. Wrote a long
letter & prayed earnestly that it might be
the means of more fully awakening him to
a richer hope in Christ.  I havent done
enough for him. I am not such a poltroon
that I can ever be pointing out to him a
better life--this is what I have thought- but I
mean to forget myself now & will continually
point out the way of salvation.  to him & all
that I am-for though I am sinful, I do
know & believe, that Jesus is the way.  He
died for us & his blood will cleanse us-
Though I sin, every day- I will freshen
myself morning, noon & night by turning
to Jesus & drinking of the fountain of
living water=Oh I would that this pen could
tell all that I feel-but I will only
say that Jesus will save me at the last & all
that I love.  I have looked to my self too much=
can not cast all my cares on the Lord=
do not love souls & feel for them as
I should do=Oh: that we could ever
remember we must all stand together
at the judgement seat of Christ-
-must finish my letter to send by Mr Smith

[partially transcribed in 1972 by her granddaughter Anne Madison Wright Baylor]

MSS 15406

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