1862 November 25 Fauquier County, Va.

[from the diary of Anne Madison Willlis Ambler]

I dont know why but lately I have felt
the greatest indisposition to walking--feel that
I could sit still all the time. But I was
determined to resist this feeling & Em. F[annie] & I
walked up to the end of the lane feel
much benefited by my walk but was
not profited by my reading as Jacke
had taken his nap & was obliged to stay
in my room & I had no other paced to go-
put my book down in despair & went
to my work, didn't accomplish
much--Oh! I feel that I am an
unprofitable servant  All my days
are passed in comparative idleness=
what an account of sin their will be
against me.  But O Lord-I believe,
help thou mine unbelief & cleanse
me from all wickedness for the sake
of thine only son Christ Jesus.---
I have tried in vain for several weeks to
learn Tom his letters.  At first he learned
very fast, but soon got tired & wouldnt
say them even if he know so this evening
I determined to give the birchen rod a
fair trial & after every persuasion it induce
him to say b failed I resorted to the switch=At
first I used it gently as I hoped to bring
him over, but he seemed determined not to yield
promised he would say it, but when I got the book
refused-so I whipped him again & again without
effect.   He begged me to stop, "just slap me Ma what
made you whip me so," - It was hard to go on
but I had begun & I determined to conquer him
if possible.  He said he knew it, but would not
say it-wanted to go to bed, No Tommie I wont
let you go to bed to night till you say it, You may
whip me all night, & I wont say it=I was completely
nonplused.  I had whipped him more than I had ever
done before & I could not make another mark=sat
him down & went to consult Pa, He came up & gave him
a talk & he promised to say it to me, but when I
came he wouldn't do it-so I led him to Pa who
sternly ordered him, but he would not, then Pa carried
him to the door & called one of the servants to take
him away It was dark & he said & promised to say it, but when
he came in refused again, so Pa called Robert &
told him to saddle a horse & take Tom to the field
where the dead mule was & tie its skull to him.  Poor
tom yielded & after some one present prompting
him, said it.  He was over joyed at his escape;
got in the finest glee before he retired, asked me
to kiss him several times.  Poor child--It will
take most judicious management to train
him in the way he should go.

[portions translated in 1972 by her granddaughter Anne Madison Wright Baylor]

MSS 11616