Wednesday, November 14, 2012

1862 November 15 Fauquier County, Va.

[from the diary of Anne Madison Willis Ambler]

 Saturday November 15, 1862

Felt better, but -rather weak as I had
starved all day & taken some medicine-
had a sore finger & couldnt sew intended
to write but the children ran in &
out my room so constantly had to give
it up-My time for writing is at
night after they are all asleep.  P[atty] & I are
very uneasy about the diptheria--but I
try to feel no care & remember that it
is the Lord & we must patiently wait &
bow submissive to the Lord=Oh for a
submissive spirit-under all trials.  My
heart is so rebellious that I often feel
that it will take great troubles to
humble me=I want an humble
spirit. "a broken & a contrite heart, O, God
thou will not despise."-
No one knows how sad my heart is
about my dear dear husband--I rarely
speak of it, but there is not an hour
I do not think of him-so many, many
fears-No one knows how long we may
be separated: perhaps forever=i.e. on
earth-I may never feel his warm kiss
or his dear arms around me--Could
I live--Oh God, thou alone knowest
how much we can bear & live--I am
almost tempted to pray-Not this, Not
this=. Had Jack vacinated.

MSS 15406

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