1862 August 15 Gordonsville

Camp near Gordonsville
Friday morning Aug. 15th 62
I now comply with my promise if it
is not as soon as you may have expected, it is accounted for by
the fact that you are remote from the post office and I thought
you would not be able to receive my letter until the last of the week
I hope this will reach you in due time and elicit a ready response.
Although I have promised you a letter I must confess I feel at present
in a rather sorry mood for performing the obligation.  You will have no
difficulty in accounting for the state of my feelings for you doubtless
have heard ere this of the fearful disaster which has befallen our co.
I left home with the  hope of meeting with my comrades in arms in
the vigor and buoyancy of health, but alass even whilst I was within
a few miles of them Death had fearfully thinned their ranks, and many,
Oh so many had been summoned away from this theatre of bloody
battlefields to one where peace eternally reigns.  How gloomy all things
seemed when I heard the dreadful news.  Death seemed to be robed with
new terrors when I learned the fate of my feloow soldiers--Life seemed
to be cast with a sabler pall than usual, but when I remember that "God
moves in a mysterious way his wonders to perform" I strife to be reconciled
to his inscrutable dealing.  It is sad to think that so many of my
companions have been slain and that so many have been maimed
it may be for life but the soothing consolation accompanies the thought
that the former fell in defending a righteous cause and the latter will
exhibit their scars hereafter as honourable marks of heroic conduct and
praiseworthy deeds.  I have thought much since the recent battle of a remark
I heard your mother make when I was at home, to the effect that she had been
impressed with the belief that our Co. would pass through war unscathed

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or at least suffer comparatively little. But alas this auspicious pre-
diction has not been verified, few companies have suffered as heavily
as the Dixie Greys in one battle yet we must not arraign Providence
nor murmur at the dispensations of His will for most assuredly
"the Lord of all the earth will do right."  I could moralize by the hour
over this sad event but want of time and space forbid
I shall now endeavor to give you a sketch of my journey from home
to my regiment.  I gave the parting hand to my friends about noon on
last Friday.  As John E and Pleasanat E who were to be my "companions
du voyage" expressed a desire that I should take the cars at Big Lick
I agreed to do so and was conveyed there in a buggy.  Of course I had
to avail myself of the opportunity to call om my friend M______ & spent
an hour in converse with her and after an affectionate "adieu" which did
not elicit many tears I think from either side, I was on my way to the
Depot where I awaited for some time for the coming of the Iron Horse.
M told me that she meditated doing the next day what she failed to do
on two several occasions before visiting the C.A. Springs.  I wonder if she
carried the thought into execution.  I ought to have been there ought I not during
her stay?  But I hope she was entertained agreeably as if I were present.
But I am creating an interval  in my narrative.  In due time we were whirling
away rapidly in the direction of Lynchburg.  Night had fallen when we
reached this place.  Our first solicitude was to obtain lodging for the night.
After many fruitless endeavors to find sleeping room in the hotels we were
about resolving to resort to the soldier fashion of bivouacking for the night when
we fortunately came across a boarding house where we obtained comfortable accomm-
odation. Saturday morning we took cars for Gordonsville.  The cars were loaded
to their utmost capacity but we managed to get seats.  When we arrived at
G we learned that he army had gone beyond orange C.H.  We proceeded
thus far and heard that our regiment was several miles below the C.H.
We immediately resolved upon finding it and resumed what was once
our constant occupation pedestrianizing (forgive this pedantic term for it
is my expression.)  The weather was excessifely hot and we were unused to the
fatigue of marching.  We had to therefore make frequent halts to rest by the
way-side. Whilst we were laying in the grateful shade of some trees and
as the sun was speeding down the western skies we heard the roar of distant
canon.  The battle of Cedar Creek Run had commenced and at the very
time we were discussing the fate of our boys they were engaged in the deadly
conflict and were being cut down by Death's remorseless scythe. -- But little
did we think at the time that the enemy was playing such sad havoc in our
company ranks.  We encamped for the night in an old barn whose doors stood
invitingly open an seemed to welcome us to its straw covered floor.  After com-
mitting myself to the care of Him who's watchful eye never sleeps and holding

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silent communion by the magic power of fancy with the loved
ones of home and one especially whom I supposed to be quietly reposing
under the bright moonbeams which streamed over the narrow valley of Carven's
Cove I fell asleep I wonder if she was thinking of me at that time. I had scarcely gotten
within the confines of the Land of dreams when I was awakened by the boom
of cannon. For a long time we anxiously listened to these ominous sounds and
as report followed report in more and more rapid succession I pictured to myself
the scenes where this bloody drama was being acted the confusion and uproot
and rout and carnage of the battle field.  When the reports ceased I arose
looked at my watch by the moonlight and saw the index pointing to eleven-
I supposed they must have been engaged a couple of hours.  Our slumbers
were not disturbed anymore during the night.  The moon was still high
into the heavens and her silver beams were streaming over hill and dale when
we left the hospitable roof of our wayside barn and took up our march.
We were soon on the banks of the Rapidan-  there was no bridge nor means of
ferriage consequently we had to resort to the only remaining means of crossing, that is to wade.
This we did without difficulty.  Just before getting to the river, the effects of the fight
of the previous evening were made vividly apparent to us by meeting with an ambulance
containing the remains of Brigadier General Winder--When we had left the river some
four miles behind us we halted and finding a deserted house near which was
a fine spring we concluded to remain during the hot hours of the day. We learned
in the evening that Jackson intended falling back.  We therefore proceeded no farther
but resolved to go back with the wagons when they should return but the wagons
of our division passed during the night and in the morning we started back to
the  [?]   to overtake the wagons if possible....but they eluded our search and we
had to spend another night without meeting any of our Co.   We had heard
during the day of the disaster that had befallen our co. but did not know who
were the unfortunate ones.  We camped on Monday night with some friends of the
2nd Regiment Cavalry.  Tuesday morning we made fresh efforts to find the 42nd
and after many inquiries and much laborious marching we struck the right trail.
Late in the evening we found our camp and met with the small remnants of our
once numerous band. I now learned for the first time who were the killed and
wounded of the Co. Whilst I mourned the loss of these brave companions I
was consoled by the knowledge that none of my most intimate friends were killed.
Of the wounded, there is only one you know, Marshall Frantz.  He rec'd a pretty
severe wound in one of his legs.  Fifteen were killed and sixteen wounded.  One
or two of these it is feared will not recover. Capt. Deyerle is in a very critical
condition & doubtful about his getting well.  Dr. Bittle and James Deyerle
came down day before yesterday evening for the purpose of getting our wounded
transferred to the Salem Hospital.  They have succeeded and left for Charlottes
ville on the evening train. They left our camp yesterday and I accompanied
them to headquarters and to the 28th Regiment which came to Gordonsville last
Monday.  Our tramp was a long and fatiguing one but we at last found
the 28th about four miles south of town.  We took our friends in the Greys
by surprise.  We found all well and quite comfortably situated.--
You can tell Cousin Kate that her boys are well.  When I related to them the
pleasant times we had at the spring he expressed a regret that cir-
cumstances had forbidden his being one of the number.  The sight of him revived
many pleasant thoughts of our sojourn at the springs.  I guess you can
readily account for this association of ideas if you cannot I refer to Miss Kate.
I am certain she can make a satisfactory solution. I met with
several friends in the 28th and heard of more being in other brigades
but did not have time to visit them.
I suppose you have read full accounts of the late battle, near Culpeper
C.H.  I shall therefore say but little in regard to it.  Our brigade suffered
severely, especially the 42d and 21st regiments.  Our regt. lost in killed
and wounded upward of ninety. The Dixie Greys alone lost a third
of this number. These two regts were completely surrounded at one time and
the combatants were engaged in a dreadful hand-to-hand encounter, and had
it not been for the timely arrival of a supporting regt they would all have been
captured or killed, more likely the latter for all were striving to cut their way
through-- selling their lives as dearly as possible.  There is one thought which re-
lieves the gloom which hangs over the reflection of our misfortune and it is that
our boys fought bravely, they quitted themselves like men. The remaining brigades
offered comparatively little, some regts only losing three or four men. --
A great battle is is thought is now impending.  The enemy is strongly re-en
forcing and a great number of our troops are being concentrated here.  All of
Longstreets division is here.  Genl Lee himself came to Gordonsville this
morning. So you may look for stirring times in this vicinity ere long.--
It is thought the enemy will make a desperate effort to take Richmond from
this direction.  We recd orders a short while ago to cook up two day's rations.
This sounds ominous but what it means I cannot tell.  It certainly has refer-
ence to some movement.  A few days will develop. No disposition has at yet
been made of individual me.  I think I could easily obtain a discharge if I
should apply for one but I do not think I will do so until this commotion has
subsided.  I know not what the future may bring forth but I shall hope for
the best.  If I should go into the fray, I pray the Lord to preserve me,
and my dear cousin, let me ask you to do the same.--
I presume you are still at the springs but will leave tomorrow. What
adventures did you meet with after I left you?  Please give me a full de-
scription.  I was often with you in thoughts and regretted that duty would
not permit me to be with you in person.
It is growing dark and we have no candles (excuse our poverty)
and I must close.  Remember me kindly to Cousin Kate. Write me
as soon as you get this - Direct to Gordonsville Co. E. 42nd Regt.
Jackson's Division.--  Rival me in length for you know my pre-
dilection for long letters.  May the angels of the Lord keep watch over
you is the prayer of
                                        Yours most sincerely
                                                                             Porte

William H. McCauley, 1837-1908, to his future wife Margaret Jane Shirey, 1843-1911.

MSS 14953