Tuesday, November 6, 2012

1862 November 7 Fauquier County, Va.

[from the diary of Anne Madison Willis Ambler]

Friday, November 7, 1862

Another unprofitable day---I suppose
J[acque] and  C. thought they ought to be as merry
as possible, but they forgot we could
not join in the merry laugh--sometimes
I caught myself their spirit, but I
felt reproached when I thought of my
poor dear P[eachie] being far away dead=O
it is so hard to realize=I will never more
see her again=I can't believe that she
is dead-It is hard to realize death
when you see one pass from earth, but
to be told of the death of a loved one
not see it, not be able to pay the last
sad offices to the body=Oh I can not
believe=  poor Ma, she seems sadly
broken in spirit=looks pale & sad-
heaves heart broken sighs=  Pas eyes look dry &
though he says but little I know his
thoughts follow his dead child.  Oh, If
he had only a hope in Christ-what a
different thing it would seem to him
though I fear death I do not f [?] & know
that I am accepted. that death has
lost many turns-sometimes I almost
feel that to die might be to me
great gain--I know Christ can save
to the uttermost but do I come unto
him, because I am weary & heavy laden?

MSS 6960

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