Thursday, November 1, 2012

1862 November 2 Fauquier County, Va.

[from the diary of Anne Madison Willis Ambler]

Sunday, November 2, 1862

I can truly say, this has been a happy
day with me--though I am far from
feeling just as I would like to. Still
I have more peace & joy, than usual--
I was enabled to pray more fervently
for a blessing in my labours to day, & think
that I was blessed. (Is this presumtion[sic] in
me.)  O, God forgive me if it is-I know &
believe that thou wilt bless thy creatures.  Why
not bless me--I know I am the least deserving
on earth, but Christ died for me, Yes, his
precious blood was shed for me.  I will be
clean: I will wash in his blood--Oh Lord
Jesus Christ-my Saviour let me never slip
from the narrow way, but perfect in me that
good work begun by the Holy Spirit- -
=I realize more than I have ever done that
in me dwelleth no good thing, & that though
Christ  am I clean--  Will become clean-
for I fear I dont believe yet, as I should
do but I mean to cry for faith, more faith,
till God will bless me as he did Jacob=
   Have been reading Bickersteth on the
Lords supper-It is a good work--He must
have been one of the chosen vessels--But
I must try & look only to Jesus, I have
thought too much about good books & good people-
forgotten Christ the only good thing--I want
to be more like him.  O God lift me up help me
to walk in the walk he walked for me

MSS 15406

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