1862 October 3 Fauquier County, Va.

[from the diary of Anne Madison Willis Ambler]

Friday, October 3rd 1862
One thing has haunted me ever since you
left.  You said I didn't care about your
going that morning. Oh! if you could only
have seen into my heart, you would have found
it aching, aching, yes it still aches--I confess
that I did not have as many fears for
you, as I did the first time you left, but
since you have gone, they have increased--
I think of so many things I intended
to have said to you, How to be careful of
yourself &c. I I enjoyed your visit greatly-&
deluded myself into thinking something
would happen to keep you from leaving
me again. I didn't realize how short
your stay was till you had actually gone
& I was alone once more: Now I am
awakened at night by the thought that
we will never meet again.  I turn
from it, but it haunts me again.
  It is just the old tale even though
I said I must hope our parting is
not forever- - Oh the sadness & troubles
of this war---God have mercy upon
us & end it: Let us all pray for Peace-
Oh, for peace once more & quiet happy
hours: Dear Clifton, I hate to think of it
there we learned first to know on another--if I never live
there again I can never forget many many things.

[transcribed by her granddaughter, Anne Madison Wright Baylor]

MSS 15406