[from the diary of Anne Madison Willis Ambler]
Thursday, October 23, 1862
Since I have professed Christ before man, I
have been deeply disappointed in obtaining
so little aid from Christians, But Oh, God
I want you to impress upon me from this
moment, to look only to thy Book--be with
me when I study it--Make plain its law
& teach me to consider my ways--Oh that
I could always remember how kind & loving
my father is & ever ready to hear. I think I would
need no other reminder to bring my troubles to
him, even now, when I am earnest in prayer I
feel that he heard me & feel better by it. But
how seldom, I am in earnest. I ask, but receive
not, for I ask amiss. Truely I am only a
babe in Christ--if I am in Him at all
I am no longer going to deceive myself. I
will never rest satisfied til I believe that
I am a Child of God
Though I had so fully determined not to be angry
this evening I was very angry & cross to F[annie] and have but
to justify myself by thinking I was wronged-But
now I see very plainly it was only my irritable
temper which betrayed me into such con
cerns-- Oh God forgive me, against Thee, & Thee
only have I sinned, & done this evil in they sight,--
make me more patient with all around
me, parents sisters servants, children, let me
never cast shame on they name. by which I
presume to be called.
MSS 15406
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