1862 October 20 Fauquier County, Va.

[from the diary of Anne Madison Willis Ambler]
 I am writing at night as usual &
can but compare myself with how
I felt last night, & how contrary I acted
to what I believe of myself that night I
will give a sketch of myself  I woke very early
but was too lazy to get up, conscience pricked me & I
made an effort, & was up, then I felt impatient that
it should be so cold & Margaret hadn't come up to make the
fire, remembering my intent into be patient & was dressing when she
came in, chid her for being late, dressed the children & prayed
God to help me to day especially to give me a patient spirit
read my bible, then took Jacq til breakfast was
ready, was impatient at the table--& impatient that
Ma & Pa did not hurry off as they were anxious to
to[sic] go early, only lingering.  They went to the [River?]
impatient hunting for my work a while we
wee sewing amicably very unneccessarily referred
to a disagreeable occurrence about an old chat
between Fannie & me last winter--Was
impatient with Daisy several time.  Now see
how I have spent the day, sinning, & had every
intention to be better--O God. If I fall
when I try to stand--Therefore I must fall
when I call not upon Thee, at all=
Truly it is by grace we are saved & that
not of  ourselves it is the gift of God,
=Oh God, give me more grace to hear to [?]
[?]  I heard of James Briscoe's death.  He took the
oath when the Yankees were in here & was taken up on
conscript law & was so much distressed about it that

[in left hand margin of page]
he died the day he had to go into the army. Was taken up & given a
                                                                  week to prepare

[partially transcribed in 1972 by her granddaughter Anne Madison Wright Baylor]

MSS 15406