Tuesday, September 4, 2012

1862 September 5 Chattanooga, Tenn

                Chattanooga Tenn
                                    Sept 5 1862

My dearest Cousin
             Nannie
                            When I wrote you
a few days since I had not recd your
most welcome letter written on your
return ofrom Richmond.  My Brother brot
it to me from Memphis, and I assure
you that though I was exceedingly glad
to see him I was more rejoiced in hear-
ing from you. And then you have
improved so much in the length of your
letters,--and by your cheering assur-
ance that tho "absent I am not forgot"
-and that I am daily remembered by
you in your devotions at the throne
of the great God--And by tender words
of cheer, that you must pardon me
if I think of you most tenderly, and
long--and wish for the day when I
can see you again--When with "Nannie
by my side" I can, at your own Forrest home
sit down and rest me for a while, and
be with you. & talk with you,--and may
I say it--hope with you & love with you.
        Cousin Dear, I will not disguise
from you a thought & hope very near
to my heart--and one too, which I have
it may be foolishly indulged ever since
I first met you,--It is this,--(My heart
falters as I speak this truth to you, for
it may be all in vain.)--that with you
and in you, I could be supremely happy,

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and with "This fair one for my messenger
I might all forget the human race,--
And hateing no one, --love but only thee."
       this is indeed to you an unexpected re-
velation--The unfolding f the leaves of my
heart, which may & does justly surprise you,
--but Oh!  Cousin Nannie! Can I keep it? &
is it not reasonable that I should thus love
you, and think of you?  Nor am I selfish
in my desires, for I trust equally, and hope
as earnestly, that I could make your life
agreeable & happy--Otherwise, I should
never have indulged a thought, on this
most serious and important of subjects,
   I feel that I am dealing with you
in the utmost confidence, and spoken prob-
-ably much more than may be acceptable to
you. If so, forgive me, and let not the open
honest expression of a deeper passion, oblit-
-erate in your heart, the genial friendship
and kindly impressions of the past.--
   I leave it with you to decide whether
or not I may indulge my heart in such
reflections.--Sweet --calm & peaceful indeed,
are they to me.  I blend them in coming[?]
life with all my efforts for fortune or
happiness--or fame.  In all these banquets
of my soul,--these hopes purposes and
ambitions, there you are with your gentle
presence cheering & helping me.
                 Why is it so? Can you
tell?  Is it the mysterious promptings
of a fate whose language is to be read
day-by-day in future life.  Are you to
be mine?--In you and I are the shattered
and scattered members of our name
& race to be again re-united?  Oh cousin

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if it is this--then heaven would surely
bless us and bestow upon us a life of
success & happiness--
      Now I have told you all and
f "Confession is good for the soul" surely
I need never fear again and I prom-
-ise you that when I do come and see you
I will tell you all the ballance of what-
-ever you may wish to know.  Now isn't
that a fair promise?  and now wont
you sit down & write to me just as can-
-didly & freely as I have to -night written
to you.  Never mind that!  I am much
of a Philosopher, and if you dont know
me well enough just now, you shall my
sweet cousin--Or if you are "under
vows" to some other more fortunate one
dont be afraid to tell me.
                           Oh the news.--the cheer-
-ing - Glorious news that has just reached us
this evening. Whilst I now write you I hear
the cheers and jubilees of soldiers encamped
round me.  We have met our foes and on the
renowned field of Manassas again routed &
conquered them.  Heaven be praised.  Yesterday
cheering news from Ky. Kirby Smith with his
army (mostly of Tennesseans) has whiped them
near Lexington,whilst our own army of
Gen Bragg is pursuing them through Tennes-
-see, Is God not with us? and are we to have
peace so soon?  Cousin I feel a great deal of anx-
-iety about the fate of your Brothers in the
last Battles.  Do write me as soon as you hear
from them.--or any of our other relations
and let me know if they are safe.
It would be a miracle if they should all
escape danger & death through so many desperate conflicts

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I send you the picture you requested.--and
such an ugly botch of a thing that I am
ashamed of it.--The fact dear Cousin is
that it does me great injustice.--I am really
better looking than the artist has made me.
 Vanity, Vanity! you say.  Oh no!  every one
that has seen it says so & of course they must be
judges of what's good looking.--
                 Now in return, you promised me that
you would grant any request I might make.
     I make this.- Send me your "picture" and
as I love "beauty unadorned" have it taken
in the plainest & most simple style of dress.--No
ornaments.--no ribbons--but perfectly neat
& sweet.-just like your little Self.  Send it by
express to me here--that is, if you send it at
once.--I send you a box by express-It con-
-tains a present for you, & one for my other
Cousin. (do write me her name)- The work box is for
you to keep all my letters in & keep it locked
Cousin-The other articles are for her.
      My Brother has just left me.  O Such a
noble-good man! His equal I have never known
or seen So pure & lofty I wish you could have all
seen him.  He was near going on to visit you, but
he had obligations that carried him back to Miss-
issippi--He was compelled to leave his home & family
at Memphis.--My sister is still there.  Judge Wright
has been with me most of the time, but is now sick
as is his youngest son, in Mobile.  Dear Cousin again
pardon me for what I have said. I have only spoken as
I felt.--It is now very late.  I waft a blessing to you
on the brest of a sigh, and by the bright moonlight
of this sacred hour, select a star that now shines
above you  head and call it Nannie.
Love to all. Good night & good bye
                                     Yr aff & devoted
                          Cousin Wesley E.

Wesley Eldridge, Co. A, 4th Texas Infantry, to his future wife Nannie Steptoe.

MSS 6515

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