Dearest old lady--How my heart glowed with affection for
the best of mothers a few evenings ago when the girls showed me
your dear old face smiling so pleasantly as of old when we
used to have such delightful family chats in the library
at home--Oh how often have I longed to have one of my "talks"
with you concerning the "family (& every other man) in general"
such as you indulged me in walking down street together or cosily
sitting alone in the aforesaid library--But, alas, I have not even
had the privilege of writing, much less talking, to you--You know
your hopeful filial well enough to be aware that he never was
anxious to impress the world with belief in his importance to its
well being & discreet government--nor that the "multiplicity" of his
affairs precluded my attention to the small duties of social life--
But, I assert & affirm it to be a veritable fact that since I last
wrote to you in September (as which was the first or last epistle you
have received from me) the Confederate States of America have
had such a lively appreciation of the importance of my services
to their success & have so overwhelmed me with the "multiplicity"
of their business as to have renderd it absolutely impossible for me to
have kept the great family of Cary across the Waters (or the lines) apprised
of the existence & epistololamy, luminosity of the eldest scion of their noble
house--My anxiety has always been so great to do everything for C.S.A.
since I came into service that I never felt justified in think-
ing I might take time to indulge my own desires!! I really
could not have written to you until I came to Richmond to stay--
[page 2]
which was about the middle of May--& dear Madam I declare to you
that I have duly felt the usual amount of shame, expressed & experienced (?)
by letter writers, since May 15 up to date--self approbation has now
gotten one page ahead of shame and before I finish this letter will have
entirely effaced its painful memory--
"Dear Old lady" -how I love to repeat these words--their utterance seems
to me like giving you a kiss--Do not imagine for an instant my dear
madam that I use the "old" in it aged acceptation--for it is
well known that your heart keeps you young in spite of "father Time's"
envious detractions--What would I give for a glimpse into
no 269--I would even like to see old father McNabb amidst
his unionited family flaming with flags--How I would enjoy
a sight of the artless Dodge--I who never used to "visit" would
now almost take the oath to drink in the warblings of my beloved
angels whom fancy once persuaded me to enshrine in various
corners of my heart & worship at
(excuse my familiarity)
intensity--Mary--Mannie--Carter, Betty, Alice ^ these are the sweet
voices that thrill through me now and then &
imagine the rest--shall I furnish you with a disquisition
upon love? Well my ideas have set us that direction
for some time. I have two gentlemen looking up
rich wife for me--and one has absolutely promised me
one who is a judge of beauty &c the prettiest girl in the
country--rich (imprimus)--very intelligent--very beautiful
splendid house keeper--sweet & amiable to distraction--
will be rich either way the fate of war goes--I have
determined to do something for myself--so look out for
something startling--This letter seems very abrupt in its
style it strikes me--but I have scarcely time to
[page 3]
fix up anything decent--You know I have not actually
written a letter for two years--I feel consequently rusty--my
thoughts never were many nor fluent--At present I
can only say I love you all and would give the world
to be at home with this war at an end & any Yankee
that may read this letter at the bottom of the red sea
I have been many times (as is my wont) very "miserable"
whole have enjoyed better health & have gained more
kknowledge of men & things than your despondent son
could ever have hoped for
stances--It has been so long since you have heard of me
that I scarcely know what to day where to commence my time
bing so short--I expect for fill up this epistle with constant remind
er of the want of time &c as is usual with inexperienced letter writers
This war has made me feel strangely reckless--I do not feel
turns up--I had a great notion a short time ago of going
on a certain scheme
to Europe ^ but could not get off--having so much to settle
up in this Department
settle e without me--A battle will probably take place to morrow here
which will decide the fate of Richmond (& the Confederacy
for some time at least) & probably I may be able to see
you sooner than we either of us expect if we thrash
the scoundrels--Remember me most affectionately to
all my friends--give my love to Miss Alice & thank her
with all my heart for the nice "what do you call it" she made
for me--which I have yet though I have lost almost all
my momentoes & such like--I see by your last letters that
MissB etty Blackstone is in town--tell her
[page 4]
that just at this moment she rises before me as she appeared in
(what an unique expression)
all her "unsurpassed loveliness" ^ &c in a cloud of "delusion" the
night of the first soireee on thanksgiving
day night as distinctly as if it were yesterday--my heart
has never recovered from her charming manners & her
peculiar style--In vine veritas (?) I have just taken a
glass of champagne (8 oclk P.M.) dont you see that
my fate in love--I could write of beauty for hours
Sam donaldson & I are going into partnership in odes
to the Beautiful in animated nature--Remember
me to Miss Ida & the Winns--How comes on Syds attachment
to the fair haired Miss Mary--but it seems now he is in
general demand--a great beau is Mr [words inked through]
he has more brass than I believed was in the male part
of the family--How I would like to hear Pa in some
of his tongue lashings of the North--I wish he were
here--he might be of such use to this Government
I wonder if this is imprudent to write - but the devils know
that he wold have them all in a warm place if
wishing could do the thimg--Rememger me to all at Sudgrook
and to "Lutie" whose picture her uncle Willie has just kissed having stolen
it from the girls--he has the book which contains it in his office where he is now sit
ting--13th Street between Main & Cary--Give my love to Nanny--bless her--& to
aunt Betty & Nancy & to your school generally in which I might have been teaching at
this moment--How come on my ancient Latin Scholars--I wish this letter was more
interesting--but I must stop--Maj Barbour is sick with bilious fever & I must go out
to Church Hill (where we live) & attend to him--Good bye dearest Ma
Your how! affectionate Son
WM. Cary Jr
[In lower left margin of page 4]
A kiss for the "girls Ive left behind me"
Kiss all my sweethearts &friends [?] & then tell them
send me a return by letter or sent a token
[in lower right margin of page 4]
Please excuse
this letter
I cant do better now
[in bottom margin of page 1]
Oh but I cant express the love I feel for all at home--it seems as if I have been
[in bottom margin of page 2]
pent up all this long time--was just bursting [?]
MSS 1415
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