1861 May 16 Alexandria

Dear John [Bowdoin Cocke],

I have felt very much
depressed since reading the letters of some
of the best friends I have in the wars--
Sometimes I think it would be well, if
nobody cared for us--then no matter
what became of us, we'd know that we
left none behind to mourn our fate.
Without any apparent cause, I have
felt for the last three or four hours, as
if there were a heavy weight on my
heart. I'm afraid the feeling is an
ominous one. Would to God, that we were
prepared to meet our fate, if it should be
the will of Him who guides the destiny
of us all--that it should be a dire one.
We had quite a fine dress parade this
evening--your humble servant superintended.
The band we have discourses excellent
music. After the parade had been gone
through with, I read (prefacing the

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same with a few remarks) your father's address
to the soldiers--I learn from the adjutant that
they were much pleased with it. I'm kindly
obliged to you and your father for your respective
offers--I don't know that I shall have
any immediate necessity for any money--if so, I
shall call on you. I shall never forget the
kindness of your father. Those fellows in
Richmond may play the devil with him, but
the lower they try to put him, the higher he'll
rise in my estimation. You were right about
that letter being from Miss Jennie Hobson--
when I see you I'll tell you some of the
things she said--by the by she sent her
love to you and Joe--when you see Joe
deliver the same and tell him I'm sorry
to hear he is blooming--hope he'll get it
over it soon. respoect to all of the boys--Did
John Abbey get his Capn? Was very glad to hear
from Charles Grundy, will write him as soon
as I get time. Strange he didn't mention
Bob Taylor, do you know what's become
of him"? When you write home remember me

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to them all. I feel very keenly for Miss Lou
now that Dick is away--I suppose she'll
return to Belmead shortly--Present me to her
when you write and to Dick also. We may be
attacked here at any moment--I only pray
to God that the opposing forces may be
somewhat equalized. I don't know why it is,
but I feel that the hour is not far
distant when Alexandria, will be in the
possession of the federal troops. May
God avert the storm that would follow such
an undertaking. I hope that you will
not share the feelings I'm possessed with
tonight--for they are anything but enviable.
I now close--it is 10 P.M. and I have
not touched my "daily report." Remember
me to all at Hd Qrs--For the present
Goodbye--From your sincere friend
Giles B. Cooke.

Giles Buckner Cooke of Portsmouth, Va., served successively as A.A.G. to Philip St. George Cocke, Braxton Bragg, Pierre G. T. Beauregard, and Robert E. Lee. Despite his expressed pessimism he survived the war though was wounded in action at Saylors/Sailors Creek. After the war he became an Episcopal minister and principal of one of the first public schools for black children. He was the last surviving officer on Lee's staff dying in 1937 at the age of 99.

See the posting of 1861 May 3 for the address of Philip St. George Cocke which Buckner read to the troops.

MSS 640