1862 December 19 "Hopedale," Albemarle County, Va.

[from the diary of Mary S. Boydon of "Hopedale," Albemarle County, Va.]

Friday 19th  Father had a talk with Raleigh about
the letter--R. said that he found when he got
into the woods that he had lost the letter
& went back to get it--when he found it the
stamps were off the outside, & he tried to
open it to put on the stamps that were inside, but he
found he could not do it without tearing
the letter (as he did) so he tore the whole
up-not being brave enough afterwards to tell father
the why he tried to open it--Father  said he
gave him a lesson he would never forget
Precious boy,God grant it! He never seems
so precious to me as today--We were alone
for some time, & he showed me more affection
than ever before--I had no idea how very
dearly I love him, spite of his faults--It
is a strange feeling too, for somehow I seem
to have less confidence in him than any of the
rest of the family have--But when he is with
me I feel happy spite of the great anxiety I
feel for him--I think God will hear my
prayers on his account--I had  no opportunity
to speak with him to day--O God, strengthen me,
I beseech thee!  John Lewis is better today-we
hope he will have only a slight attack of the
fever, as it must be-May it be blessed to
him! Letter from Fanny, saying  she will
come home on Monday next-Father went
to Charlottesville today--

MSS 4208