1862 July 1 Fauquier County, Va.

[from the diary of Anne Madison Willis Ambler]

Tuesday 1 1862

I bolted the door last night in order to be obliged to get up early to
open it.  Did so and with some assistance from F[annie], washed & dressed
all the children for prayers.  Having those new summer goods
at Pileans, I thought I should try a[sic] get there to buy clothing
for the servants so proposed it at the breakfast table but
every obstacle was thrown in my way.  a little discouraged
I set to work when I got back to my room to think out a
new way in which I could be more independent.  thought I would take
my carriage, Jacque, and ask Mother for the horses & Susan for Margaret.  
Mother consented but said I must ask Mr. Downs. Susan refused me 
Margaret & I asked Sis B for Carrie.  She looked astonished at such audacity 
and answered hesitatingly-- I don't know, yes I recon so, But who will I have 
to wait on me,  Oh, said I, don't inconvenience yourself.   I should not have 
asked but I thought Edmonia or Martha could wait on you. Oh yes, says 
Mother, or Cynthia.--Let her have her, said Mary. Well then said sis B, seeing
I looked rather blank take her, take her, I can do without her. I 
could scarcely keep back my tears  --My heart felt like bursting-
This is the return for all our kindness to sis B, & what is there 
that either  of us wold have hesitated to do for her,
  Once before I went to Leeds without a nurse --as she remarked when 
she heard I was going, You can't take Carrie. So I wouldn't ask her 
after that.  But as I wanted to go to Prospect H[ill] to stay all night
 I thought I would try, But I will never ask a favor of her again.  
Mr. Downs has not come home yet, & I am afraid I will be 
obliged to give up my trip.  Don't it seem hard that as 
much as I stay home-- when I do propose taking a 
visit- everyone should seem so much opposed to it--
 I feel so out of spirits, so out of heart-- I am so anxious 
to hear from you-- is the whole cause I believe.

[transcript done in 1972 by her granddaughter Anne Madison Wright Baylor]

MSS 15406