1862 May 13 Cross roads New Kent Co

Cross roads New Kent Co
May 13th 1862

My dear Cary
Robert has been
quite sick for several
days past and I have de
termined to let him go
to Richmond to recover--
The news about the
Merrimac is sad indeed
hideously so.  I am ashamed
almost to be a southern
man when I reflect that
we had no marine
willing to give her a clean
fight and a glorious death.
The spirit which has sad
=owed all of our acts & which

[page 2]
has culminated in this last criminality
of destroying the only impregnable
Marine outpost we had, is a
key to all our defeats and a
forerunner of coming events
too painful to be anticipated
by meditation--God above knows
who are worthy of free Government
and Republican liberty and I fear
he is about to decree against us.
Our people nowhere exhibit
the sort of spirit which ani
=mates a people in earnest and
determined to "die or do"--.This
whole thing seems a splendid
farce--We whip the enemy
and retire until he goes
home and fixs himself up
in perfect trim--then we blow
up everything and retreat--

[page 3]
By the battle of Manassas we established
the Southern Confederacy as a certainty.
By our own cruel conduct and
preposterous failure to reap the
fruits of the battle we lost a
certainty and are now nearly en
=slaved--. We deserve it for having
such leaders--. We acted like
people a small man who in
a fight with a giant accidentally
knocks him down and then
quietly and coolly stands by and
waits until his giant friend
is refreshed--. Excuse my crude
expressions--My office is full of
people crying "corn, corn, corn,
fodder, fodder, fodder, wagons,
wagons, wagons, horses, horses, horses,
ambulances, ambulances, am
=bulances, stationery, stationery,
shoe my horse, give me a bridle

[page 4]
where is the mail for head quarters"--I want
pay for some forage Mr Grinnan took--
Mr Rush pressed a horse from me "agin"
law--. Your boy sir, came over and took
my ice & [?] without my leave--"Got
any blank pay accounts"--. "I am dry
give me a drink" (L____y)--I am
dead--famishing--

Been up ever since six o'clock--
worked almost down to my bones and
annoyed to death by all sorts of
vagabond laggards from your
gilded staff officer with brass
in face his face and lead in his
brains, down to your wagon master
with iron constitution, honest
heart and bronzed faced--bronzed
by patient endurance & brave service
in the cause--You can scarcely
form an idea not of my labors
(because you know of them) but
of my petty vexations--Lay wants
a little stationery and a big drink
Cole & Cole want everything--
Washington has run Rush
off his legs to get him a horse.
McKinne wants this & that &
that & this &c &c &c &c

[page 5]
Heath is here with the melancholy
and heart rending intelligence that
after today I will have to furnish
forage for the whole of the Cavalry!
Where & how can this great
man be satiated?--Stuart
is "fuming" for artillery houses for his
(one) horse artillery--Rosser
is urgent--Genl Pendleton
beseeches & prays I will let
him have horses--Reilly
wants horses--Lay's "nigger" is
without shoes--Alexander's
driver has not been paid
for four months.--Mr Somebody
from Madison has come to
have his leave resolved--
Mr Somebody else reflects he
was in Richmond and heard
somebody else say that there

[page 6]
had not been sufficient trans
portation afforded the sick in
our retreat--(D___n the sick)
And here I am reminded of the
scene in Sheridan's Rehearsal where
the Bookwriter was informed he was
being severely criticised by Mr__
& Mr___ "Yes and says he it is
always consolatory to know if a
man is absent at all there is
always about some damned
good natured friend who will
tell one what is said__
Excuse my length--I am writing
now not against time but
against a bevy of bores in my
office who dare not talk
to me while I write--There
is now a Problem in my mind
whether these creatures are
waiting to be invited to drink

[page 7]
or to hear the eloquent voice
of Thom announce--"dinner is
ready sir"--If the former they will
be disappointed, if the latter I
am sure I shall not be [?]
if they consume everything in my
larder--L-y has just arrived
as I commence this writing  What a volume
may not be written--some false
rumours [?] evidently--Whiskey
suspected in these quarters--Why
else this unnatural & [?]
visit--Like the poet's apothe
=cary with his medicines, lets
throw these fellows to the dogs
and talk about real existing
& worthy subjects--
How do you come along any how?
Have you rested your weary bones
& recovered from your hasty retreat
from the seething [?] & [?] under
the nice old elm tree--

[page 8]
Have you taken a peep in the accounts
& seen how things have been done.
I have great faith in you--You
know this--Whether you are better
than other people really is questionable
but I just think so--and you must
indulge the "whims" of an envious and
as you often say "strangely eccentric
old man"--I do "She may have her
faults, but she is my Countrey"
Send me a barrel of good [?]
by first chance--Send me a few
bottles of claret and of gin--.
I shall want Lessure--You had
better send him her--Tell him
to bring a horse & buggy that he can
leave for a while---I ride so
much I cant stand the  hot
sun--Be sure to see him on
this point--I dont want him
to bring any fancy things--Simply
a strong one horse buggy to keep about
& could relieve myself greatly in
marching. I have [?] everything
up to tonight--Press things forward
keep Beckham in this duty.
We will require 4000 bushels  [?]
& 100 bales of hail--Send me a
light black or blue coat that I may
send this one to Richmond to be mended
God bless you my dear boy --yr devoted friend
AM Barbour

[in left hand margin on page 1]
Pardon this tissue of nonsense and
its melancholy tone--The gloom of the
Merimac affair casts its sombre hue
over my whole path today whither I go
& what I write--I seek labor to drive it away
but no use--Disgust--desperation haunt[?]  me

[in left hand margin on page 8]
Receive me kindly to your sisters and
to Johnny--God bless you all--I feel
warmly attached to all of you--yrs trly
AMB


Confederate Quarter Master Alfred Madison Barbour, 1829-1869, to Wilson Miles Cary, 1838-1914.
MSS 1415