1862 February 17 Centreville, Va.

Centreville, Virginia
Feby 17th 1862

My Dear Fanny

I have recieved your letter
of the 7th inst: enclosing the poetry, and
thank you very kindly for the trouble you
took to get it.

My visit home completely upset me-
for ten days after my return, I felt lonely,
dejected, miserable. Everything looked dull
and gloomy to me--I felt that the happiest
period of my whole life was gone--gone,
perhaps never to return--like "joys of the
past, pleasant & mournful to the soul."
I did indeed spend a happy fortnight at
home, where, regardless of the past, heedless
of the future, mindful only of the present-
I gave myself up to the pleasure I always
feel at the reunion of my family circle.

I believe no man ever lived who could
appreciate the intense happiness of domestic
affection more than I do. Like fresh
air to the dying patient, these short visits
healthen, renovate, strengthen me anew--
I feel like a different man. But enough
of the "great I am"--pardon the egotism.

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I have not seen Frank since my
return--he came to see Willie at Ma=
nassas, and left at once to join his
company. I am glad Harriot and
yourself saw your Brother--Monie
writes me that she never witnessed such
cordiality & affection as you all exhibited
at your his unexpected arrival. I like
this--there never was & never will be
anything equal to true devotion. I
hope he was satisfied with his visit--
I feel very anxious to see him. Since
my return however, there has been
no recreation for me--my whole time
is employed--from "morn to eve noon, from
noon to dewy eve."

The re-volunteering goes on slowly--
no enthusiasm or feeling has yet exhibited
itself among the men. They all want
furloughs, and not appreciating the fact
that all cant get furloughs at the same
time, they cry out against the "high
officials," & swear they wont be forced.

One of two things must be done--
either this present Army will be kept
together, or McCleland will overcome
us in the Spring. We are not fighting
the battles of Jeff Davis, Joe Johnston,

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or the State of Virginia--our indepen=
dence hangs trembling in the balance--
must we yield to every man's wishes to
"go home," and be utterly, hopelessly crushed?
I am not arguing the question--it is un=
necessary--but it is too ridiculous to think
of opposing McCleland's trained band of
Regulars next Spring, with Raw Levies
from the South.

I ame really grieved to think that
you all have left Amelia--I do hope,
my dear Fanny, 'twill not be for any
length of time--I feel as if my family
had a prior claim to you & your Sister.

I, myself, am warmly attached to
you both--not at all lessened, I assure
you both--by the short intercourse I had
with you both at home.

I have written in great haste--
Harriot is the only person to whom
I wish my letter shown--please dont
fail to comply with my request.

God bless you both, my dear Cousins--
Pardon this disconnected letter, & accept
a whole heartful of love from
Yr. fondly attached
Cousin
E. J. Harris

Miss Fanny Dickins
Fluvanna, Va.

MSS 5533-d