1861 Octobr 20 Bel Pré

My own dear brother [Wilson Miles Cary, Jr.]

Here I am, much to my
own amazement, seated as quietly
in this little retired spot, as if the
great question of our return to Balt
were not still pending--I wish I
could refer to the period of my most
recent epistolary communication, so
as to enable me to give you a sketch
of all that has transpired since,
concerning not only that one great
wish of my heart, but every thing
else that may interest you, but
really it seems to me that none of
of[sic] my effusions ever reach their
destination, and in the ocean of
letters, long & short, hurried and

[page 2]
deliberate that I have written
you, I am utterly at a loss to know
what information you have received
and what has fallen short--
Yours to me at Kinloch, received
only night before last, makes me
feel as if the experiences of the
past month of our life had yet
to be revealed to you. But I believe
the last tidings you have from me
were relative to our despair at
not returning home. For a short
time after receiving Ma's commands
I was unspeakably, hopelessly
wretched. Soon, however, my
hopeful temperament came to my
aid, and I conceived and executed
the plan of writing to W[alter] D. D[andridge] to
entreat his assistance in extricating
us from our troubles. I referred him
to our friend the Major as one who

[page 3]
would, I was assured, make any
effort for us that was in his power
depicted the exiles as unhappy
to a degree verging upon insanity
and implored him to use all the
influence, no small amount of
which I was convinced he must
possess, to obtain protection for the
two unfortunate & innocent females
who thus intruded themselves upon
his notice--Having dispatched this
appeal, and being, as you know,
extremely sanguine, I became
tolerably contented, and we
endeavored patiently to await the
unfolding of events--Fortunately for
our peace of minds, tho' quite the
reverse for our purse, the provision
of a winter wardrobe had become
indespensable, and in the engrossing
cares attendant upon it we found

[page 4]
relief from our troubles.

Of course we anticipated an
ample supply of wrappings &
a couple of dresses that would make
us presentable, in the expected
carpet-bag--Imagine, then, my
consternation to find it contained
only a few underclothes, an old
shawl, and the things for you of
which our obliging friend, Jno Banks
has charge. We were in utter despair
forming the by no means pleasant
prospect of a winter in the house,
for the essential articles we did not
receive are not obtainable in C-ville,
and if anywhere, only at prices
not to be contemplated by exiles--
The bag reached us on Friday morning--
That evening a package of ten letters
was handed me--They have been
wandering about the confederacy
for the past month, and the objects
of many of them are entirely defeated
by the delay--Is it not too aggravating
for endurance? Had the chief &
most acceptable one reached me
when due, I should most probably
have been ere this in Baltimore

[across the right hand margin of page 4]
It is from Miss Belt[?], who brought the bag, &c
to Fortress Munroe.


[page 5]
I have not the missive with
me, or would send it. She
simply says that Ma is very
miserable about us and wants
us to come home, but she, and
all our friends, dread our attempting
to cross the Potomac. They all
forbid that positively, but not our
return--Miss Belt says we must
go by the Ford, under a flag of truce:
must assume a name, and
remain in our state room the
whole time--On arriving in Balt.,
we are to take a hack and drive
to the back door, or the house of
a friend, as the neighbors are on
the look-out for us. It is very
evident from these directions that
it is intended to send us immediately
off somewhere--Ma would be
in perpetual terror of our arrest;
and I am, besides, of the opinion
that passengers by the Baltimore

[page 6]
boat are compelled to take
the oath of allegiance--

That I would never consent
to do--(Jennie says she would)
and the former I dread.

I have, therefore, decided to
await the respeld result of the
appeal to Walter--Of course,
I still long with my whole heart
and soul to go home--but
as I said before, I would rather
stay for ever than be a source
of sorrow & anxiety to Ma--there--
Sp you see that, as usual, I
am awaiting the unfolding
of events--I expect to stay with
Constance for a few days, and
then Jennie will meet me
at Orange C.H. where we
will make a short visit during
Millie[?] Murrays stay there.
I would give worlds if you
could join us--I have so

[[page 7]
much to talk to you about--
Banks is going--
In greatest haste--,
as I have written the
whole of this, I am ever
your devoted
Sister
H[etty] C[ary]

From Wikipedia:
Hetty Carr Cary (1836 – 1892) was afterwards the wife of CSA General John Pegram and, later, of pioneer physiologist Henry Newell Martin. She is best remembered for making the first three battle flags of the Confederacy (along with her sister and cousin).
Henry Kyd Douglas, in I Rode With Stonewall, described Hetty as "the most beautiful woman of her day and generation" and "the handsomest woman in the Southland -- with her classic face, her pure complexion, her auburn hair. her perfect figure and her carriage, altogether the most beautiful woman I ever saw in any land."


Hetty was wholeheartedly a supporter of the South, even when in the North and among Union soldiers. On one occasion, she waved a smuggled Confederate flag from a second-story window as Federal troops marched through Baltimore. An officer of the passing regiment allegedly pointed Hetty out to his Colonel, asking, "Shall I have her arrested?" The Colonel looked at her and replied: "No, she is beautiful enough to do as she pleases."

Hetty and her sister, Jennie, smuggled drugs and clothing through the Union blockade, across the Potomac for Confederate troops. They were forced to leave Baltimore after federal authorities discovered her Southern sympathies. They escaped to Richmond, where they then lived with their cousin Constance Cary and her mother, who served as the girls' chaperone. The three young ladies became known as the Cary Invincibles.

Due to confusion among the troops during the First Battle of Bull Run due to the similar design and color of the Confederate flag, the Stars and Bars, and the Union flag, the Stars and Stripes, Confederate General P. G. T. Beauregard recommended that the Confederate flag be changed.

Constance Cary wrote:
“ During the autumn of ‘61, to my cousins, Hetty and Jennie, and to me was entrusted the making of the first three battle flags of the Confederacy. They were jaunty squares of scarlet crossed with dark blue edged in white, the cross bearing stars to indicate the number of the seceded states. We set our best stitches upon them, edged with gold fringed, and, when they were finished, dispatched one to General Joseph Johnston, another to General Pierre Beauregard, and the last to General Earl Van Dorn. The banners were made from red silk for the fields and blue silk for the crosses.

MSS 1415