CH QM Dept 1st Corps Army of Potomac
Dear Sister mine [Hetty Cary, future wife of General John Pegram]
How long it seems since I have written to you my precious so-
roral relative but could you only see the amount of business done in the Quartermasters
Department you would not wonder at my silence. Business flows in upon us in a steady
current from morning til night--not til "dewy eve" for we run up often to 8 or 9 oclk
Then the papers of the office and correspondence have still to be arranged and your
uncle Fuller is so slow in his movements that it takes him a considerable time to
wind up the day.---There is not a moment of the day really that I can call
my own for even if there is no one requiring attention in the office--I consider
it my duty to snatch the few moments for perusal of the Army Regulations, so
as to acquaint myself with the duties of the department hitherto have had
no time even for thee--Mary Barbour is now sick in bed & consequently my
time is harder than ever. I am so fearful of making a mistake in my payments
it makes me continually anxious. I feel here not as if I had mercy to do as I am
but, but as if by accepting the position in which I am placed I was supposed [to]
know everything connected with it--& of course you know I would be mortified to
death if I was found wanting--and I really know so little--that I constantly
dread being thought inefficient. Sometimes I would give worlds to be relieved of
a feeling of impossibility, which always somehow or other weighs on me--I would
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rather be in the ranks than here to get rid of anxiety & hard work but I believe
the training of this office will render me more of a man--more fit for something here
after--I hope to grow quicker & sharper in business transactions--The business of a Quar-
termaster is entirely different that of a merchant & my part of it is different from
that of a clerk in a counting room who has a regular routine--& a certain defined class
of affairs to attend to--I can truly say that in this place I am actuated by no desire
to make money--All I care for the money is to pay expenses--whatever they be, and
to make you independent while exiles in Virginia--My own individual expenses
here would be high--but of course must bear my share of the mess--which occasions
great trouble i.e. making proportionate shares I would rather board somewhere, if it could be procured, than mess with
tom dick & Harry as we do now--I am afraid it will bother me not a little to settle up
the mess accounts--to make out the share to be borne by the difft members--so irregular
has everything been--If it wasnt for you all I wd pay the whole thing myself and
say nothing about it--This is strictly entre nous, Farewell to a disagreeable subject
Mr. Banks brought me the other day the bundle & letter from you--I wish the old
lady had sent me my gray vest---she has sent collar & cravats enough to last until
the end of a seven years war--I would give anything ifyou could make me a shirt
like our Maryland Guard--but I know you cant get the material--If I could only
get sent to Rich;mond on business I could get someshirts & a cloth jacket so as to
look decent--But I am more needed in the in-door operatins--I wd be afraid
of want of knowledge of business to undertake the out door--I received a few
days ago by an agent of the Department a pair of blankets wh I sent for from Petersburg--a very
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nice pair they are indeed & together with those Miss Mannie sent me, make me
very comfortable--The chesnuts you sent me are very acceptable I am discussing
some now--We generally examine their merits after supper by the office fire-side
My watch stopped
going to send it to Charlottesville by Wilson c. Nicholas who is a relation of ours & lives in Albemarle-a fine
active young fellow --who was until lately Gen. Beauregards orderly--now engaged as
agent in this Department. He goes early in the morning & I will get him to drop
this letter for you at Brandy--I suppose you are still staying
you are not there she will send to Dr Slaughter & in the course of time it may
reach you--If it were not for the uncertainty I would enclose you some funds, but
dont be afraid of expense--you have some money--get what you want--I'll send the
needful by the first opportunity as soon as I know where you are--Now dont think
you are dependent for in the first place I dont want the money--& in the 2d if I
ever do --you can consider it a loan, & pay it when you marry some rich old fellow who has nothing else to do but "shell out" For goodness sake give up the idea of returning
home--I supposed Ma's leter had settled that--Dont you see that you can be of
no possible use there, but merely a source of anxiety? Last Tuesday night the 15th
we evacuated Fairfax C. J.--I never passed such a night in my life--I had to super-
intend the packing our office fixtures & baggage--furniture--Kitchen utensils--china &c
into the wagon--it was an arduous task--the servants wee all more or less tight & it was
the hardest thing to keep them going--I did half the work myself--After that about 3
oclk in the Morning --just as we had packed up everything Major Barbour sent me
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me[sic] off ahead on horse back through a country & to a place with which I was
totally unacquainted to try and find Head Quarters for Beauregard & to return
& report to him on
dark night--It was one of the grandest scenes I ever witnessed--The whole
country lit up here & there with huge camp fires--making the night darker than
it really was--except where the glare of the fires glittered on the bristling bayonets
& revealed
seemed--marching hither & thither--midst blare of trumpet & sounding music which
floated grandly through the midnight air--fainting away in the distance as I
I rode rapidly on--now the road was blocked up with wagons hurrying their teams
causing me to pick my way over stumps & through the burning embers of campfires
now & then stumbling over some weary soldier taking a short nap by the way--now
I came upon a
of subalterns--Here in the field was a store house blazing to the skies--There
by the road side a burning wagon --with fiery-circled wheels
flaming spokes like rays of gold--There the wild confusion of Light & darkness--music
fire-cries-orders-the tramp of men-clanging of arms-crackling of the flames-
made an impression on me I never shall forget--On I rode through the night down
damp valleys & through dark woods--how cold & cheerless I felt! the music had died
away--the fires were past--& the chill mists of the valleys reminded me that I had left
my coat behind trusting to the warmth of a flannel shirt--On I travelled, thinking
of home & comfort--across fields--through thickets & drawbars[?]--pulling down fences & forgetting
to put them up--barked at by dogs & sleepily answered by their masters--whose slumbers I
disturbed with questions of no consequence to them--but "on the contrary quite the reverse"
to me--till finally grey dawn overtook me just as I reached the house I was directed
to try for --I rapped up the occupants midst the howling of a dozen curs--Meeting with
no success from one whose husband had left her with six small children etc I scram-
bled over fenced fields to another house in view--after a long conversation & exhausting
all my powers of persuasion -I left & visited some dozen houses in the vicinity-without
success--till finally I came to a Mr Kincheloes who invited me into a nice breakfast which I
relished I assure you (he comes from Alexandria) After breakfast he & his wife agreed to give up the
house except one room for their own use--this being the best I cd. do--I started back---reached Fair
fax C.H. abt 12 o'c--which was the picture of a deserted village--Missed Maj Barbour who had gone--
got not dinner--in the evening started with Capt. Moore asst q.M. of Maj Barbour--for Centreville--7 miles from
Fairfax C.H.--Staid there some time & then started on another 7 mile trip to Union Mills where Maj B
[cross hatched on page 1]
had gone for quarters--I reached there ater a long ride almost broken down--found our quarters after a great
many questions in a small rickety log house--where I got supper & retried shortly after to the only bed in the house
which Maj. B. & I occupied--The next day we determined to move to Centreville
and here we are in very comfortable quartrs in the house of a Mr. Stewart
who is an exceedingly clever man being hospitable & kind. The house is very
crowded at present as Gen. Beauregard occupies the largest & best part of it
provided for him. Mr. Stewart also reserved a room in the house for himself
having sent his family away. This house when the Yankees were here was the
headquarters of Genl Schenck who was thrashed so badly at Vienna yu remember
when we were in Baltimore--But it is very late & as I will have a tough day
again tomorrow--as Maj Barbour is still too sick to leave his bed--I think
I must leave you though I have a great deal to say & could talk all night.
I sat up all night a few nights ago--If I I was not so slow of comprehension
I would not have to work hard By the way I bought a military cap
from Capt. John Dooley of the 1st Virga Regt. who is the great Richmond
Hatter he had a lot of caps on hand for sale I got one & now I am called
Capt. & Lieut &c by the frequenters of our office Give my
love to Aunt Minnie & Connie & take a great deal for Jennie
& yourself Good night Let me hear from you soon---
The Maryland Regt is but a quarter of a mile ff in sight but I havent
had time yet to go to see the boys. Mr. Cameron is staying with Mr Steart
Good night
W M Cary
Wilson Miles Cary, 1838-1914, University of Virginia alumnus and afterwards a lawyer in Baltimore, Md.
MSS 1174
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