1862 January 10 [Lynchburg, Va.]

[from the diary of William M. Blackford of Lynchburg, Va.]

The ladies had a supper last night--Under
all the drawbacks, they netted 450 by their
exertions Certainly few places beat Lynchburg
in all cash enterprizes. heard with great regret
that Alfred Miller of the Home Guard, brother of
Jno M. our teller, who came home a fortnight
ago on sick leave is not expected to live. He
is a fine young fellow--

[the following pages contain Blackford's thoughts on a variety of subjects and musings on his past life, and do not have any Civil War content]

I have been astounded
sometimes at my tenacity of purpose. It is now nearly
30 years since I saw a philosophical toy in Cincin
-nati, which to the ignorant seems very astoun
-ding, as it apparently enables one to look
through a plank among other opaque
substances. Its construction was not difficult
and when I first saw it, I resolved to make
one. I had never lost sight of it, and ten
years afterwards, I had it nearly finished
when I went ot S. America--On my return the
parts had been broken--Within a day or
two past I have been at work on it and
hope now to finish it and send it as a
present to Mary Jane--I was not more
than 16 when I conceived the idea of making
a model of a steam engine--long before
I had seen one--many an hour it occupied
my thoughts, until 20 yrs afterwards I car
-ried the plan into execution, very much as
it first entered my mind--so too with a
Library table, which only within the
last four months I have accomplished &
of many things else of less moment. The
numerous instances in which what I consi
-dered day dreams & utopian schemes, have
been realized to the letter, have impressed
my mind very sensibly. I have long ago recorded
the fact, that whilst my ears were strained
by the roar of the salute with which I was
received on board the Falmouth in June '42
in Hampton Roads, it seemed but the reenacting
of by gone scenes-so long had I pictured to my
self the possibility that some day I should
be received on board a sloop of war, in
Hampton roads, as a chargé d'affaires, de
-parting on a foreign mission--The locality,
the class of vessel, the rank, were all precise
-ly in accordance with the dreams of not merely
youth but manhood. Never was there a
state of mind more like that of Harry Bertram
before Ellangowan, where he is willing to be
lieve the [?] of pre-existence taught him
by the Bra[h]min Moonshie. This state of mind
in which all that is passing before you seems
but the re-enactment of scenes in which you
once bore a part, was a matter of every day
occurrence when I was a youth, and even
now is not uncommon. Dugald Steward says
though few have not experienced it, Scott was
the first man to describe the sensation. In
my case, tho realization of the dream was most
remarkable--I had never been a politician--The
party to which I belonged, seemed destined to a
perpetual minority, & the diplomatic line, was
that I least affected in then again with
with[sic] respect to the office I now held I could
never imagine that post was one for which I was
peculiarly fitten by my tastes or previous pursuits
-and without vanity, I may say I felt convinced
it was rather beneath my ambition--Yet strange
to say, I long, long ago, had wish for such
a birth[sic]--the advantages of which, stated du-
ties and stated compensation loomed before
me as most desirable--I pictured to myself
the not too laborious employment, the consi
deration & influence, and all the accessories
of the cashiership, and [?] am elegant
little office and generally entertained a pre-
sentiment that a somewhat life somewhat
diversified in pursuits, would endure such an
office--and yet, though the steps I took to
secure the office I now hold were marked
by tact & judgment & [?]--the sugges
-tion of the scheme by my excellent friend
Deane, seemed accidental--or rather at
that time no opening had presented itself
to my mind. Yet the moment the scheme
of a Branch of the Exchange Bk be at Lynnch
-burg was proposed, all the means and the
personal agencies by which I could attain
the end flashed on my mind at once. I
owe my success to Tazewell Taylor, an old
friend, and John Southgate whom I had
never before seen--and here I must dwell
for a moment on Mr S. All told me, on my
arrival in Norfolk, that the fact of the esta-
blishing a Branch here, and of my securing a board
of Directors in my interest depended on this
venerable gentleman--I had a very kind let
-ter of introduction to him from Din[?]. He ask
-ed me if I was the son of Benj. Blackford
formerly of Fredk Co. Md. I told him I was.
He said his first wife--daughter of Mar
-cus McCausland of Baltimore, had spent
weeks at his house and was much attach
-ed to the family--I had frequently heard
my father speak of the beautiful Fanny
McCausland and how fond they all were of
her--It was evident that this intimacy of
his wife with my family was at once recognized
as a claim upon his good offices in kindness
& hospitality extended forty odd years before
were now credited to me--Bread cast upon
the waters &c He took the matter in hand
and as he was able to recognize reconcile
duty to the institution with inclination to
befriend me, he carried all before him.
autobiography if written in a truthful frank
fearless spirit, must be of all others the most
interesting and important to the [?]
with all the temptations to twist events [?]
present motives, I cannot help believing it the
history most to be depended upon.

MSS 4763