1861 Nov[ember] 14 Camp Caroline near Leesburg

My dear wife [Olivia Alexander Page]

I recd your letter this
morning which was mailed the
12th. this is the second letter
I have had from you since
I have been here and was, as you letters
always are to me, like a gleam of
sunshine in a dark place, bring-
ing me intelligence of the loved
ones at home, and an assurance
that, in this cold world, there are yet
some hearts warm with an af-
fection for me, of which albeit
I may be unworthy, but alas,
for the sad news of Dr Nelson's
death, it is very distressing
and I cannot tell how much
I am grieved to hear it, al=
though I have been prepared

[page 2]
to hear of his death at any
time, I could not help hoping
that he might be spared for
some time longer, the last
time we were at his house
I thought it more than proba=
ble I should never see him
again, his live however must
have been a great burden to
him, and there is a gloomy
consolation in the fact that
he is relieved from great suf=
fering, I cannot conceive of
any greater than living in
the constant dread of sudden
death. John Alexander heard
of it this evening and came
out here, he appeared to be
much distressed. Ella Wimbish
wrote to him about it, he
is in camp tonight for the
first time since I have

[page 3]
been here, that is I mean to
spend the night, he has been
here in all about an hour
since I got back, I have
been on duty at camp almost
all the time, have been
Officer of the day three days
out of four, the duties are
not very laborious, but very
confining, we have only
three companies of Cavalry
left here now, (two have
gone off since I came) and
one Miss. Regt (the 21st) along
side of us--I was at a wedding
last night in Leesburg
what do you think of
that? Hendricks and Miss
Hattie Gray, there was a large
company, and a right pleasant
time, the house was full

[page 4]
of beauty and of chivalry and "bright
the lamps shone o'er fair women and
and brave men" --rather a
bad time for frolicking you
will think perhaps & I couldn't
help thinking of the Duke
of Wellington at Brussels on
the eve of the battle of Water-
loo, I met with several of
our friends there for the
first time, Mrs. Minon and
old Mr. Harrison among them
they all make many kind
enquiries about you, which
is very gratifying to me, old
Mr. Harrison gave me a very
pressing invitation to visit
him, I have not seen
Mrs Ball yet, nor Mrs Morseley
Miss Lizzie I saw last night.
I rode over the battlefield

[page 5]
yesterday with Mr Holcombe
for the first time, it was a
most remarkable fight,
but I cannot give you a par
ticular description of it now
Gen. Evans told me in talk=
ing about it in his peculiar
style of emphasis that he
"out generaled them all to
hell"' and so he did from
all accounts that I can
hear. he managed the
whole of it very well, and
nearly every movement
of any importance during
the day was executed by
his order, he was at the
breast work, when he could
communicate convenient=
ly with all his forces and
where the principal attack

[page 6]
was expected, I think the
Gen. has rendered himself
somewhat unpopular
here by the set which
he keeps around him,
I think John is out with
him, he made a great
fuss over the socks, which
I sent him in your name,
I haven't had a chance to see
much of him yet, I saw
him last night at the
wedding for the second
time since my return,
his wife is out in the Country
I have not seen her yet,
we have several very
nice gentlemen among
our cavalry officers, I
like them very much from
what I have seen of them,
we are under command of

[page 7]
Lieut. Col. Jenifer, who
is said to have behaved
very well at the battle
of Leesburg, I have recd no
paper from home yet,
I promised to let Ellington
have wheat enough to make
a barrel of flour, which is
about 5 bushels, I did not
fix any price upon it but
of course never dreamed of
letting have it for less than
the market price, I only
agreed to let him have it
to accommodate him, and
if he is not willing to allow
the market price let
him go without it or get it
elsewhere, he lies when he
says I sold it to him for $1.--
I have just read your letter
over, and it has made me

[page 8]
very sad and very sorrowful
all you say in reference to poor
Dr. Nelson is true and very just
but I think (you say) that your
judgment about people is too harsh
Oh! my darling, What bitter words
these are to me! and yet perhaps
it is better they are not left
unsaid, but as I lie here on
my hard bed on the floor of my
tent listening to the pouring of
the rain far away from my
home and those who are
dearest to me on earth there
and not knowing when I shall
ever see it or them again, it
makes my heart ache to think
that the dearest and best be=
loved of all can cherish in her
heart any feeling of reserve
or resentment towards me,
you won't do this will you my
darling? If I have ever done you
any wrong or injustice in this
respect I could lay my head in the

[page 9]
dust at your feet and beg your
forgiveness, I would not have
said this if I could have
helped it, but you cannot tell
how it grieves me for you to
have any reservation in your
feelings towards me, you ex=
press a hope and belief too that
I shall be happy and enjoy my=
self, I will be as happy as I can
but you know, or ought to know
that there is not much hap=
piness for me whilst I am
away from yo and my home
without being able to make
any calculation as to when
I shall ever see you again
I hope though now that Tom
Cobbs and his wife are with
you. you will be better sat=
isfied and be able to pass your
time more agreeably in my
absence, do not let anything

[page 10]
however prevent your writing
to me regularly, our plans
for the Winter are altogether
uncertain and undetermined
I have no idea now where we
are to go or what we are to do
I shall engage in active duty
in a short time now, it has
been raining hard ever since
nightfall, and my tent begins to
leak so I cannot write, the water
dropped into my candle a little while
ago and put it out and it has man=
ifested its indignation at such
treatment ever since I relighted
it by keeping up a great sputtering
goodnight my darling (it is now past
11 o'clock) I expect to pass rather an
uncomfortable night, but I have
to get used to these things and the
sooner the better, kiss my little
ones for me, I am going to write to
them before long, I was glad to hear
Mary Mann is getting her lessons, I
hope she will try and be smart about
it, and a good and obedient child I wish
I had my sweet little Monie to lie by me
and keep me warm tell the captain

[in left hand margin of page 10]
he must cut you plenty of wood and I want him to learn to

[in top margin of page 10]
read this winter, god bless you my

[in right had margin of page 10]
darling Wife, your devoted husband
E.R.P.

Edwin R. Page, 1st Lieutenant, 2nd Virginia
Cavalry

MSS 8937